ANTI-MYSTERY (duo_aurion) wrote,
ANTI-MYSTERY
duo_aurion

THE MAN MEME

1. Do you have facial hair? If so, how much? If not, how often do you shave?

Facial hair is gross!

2. Have you ever been in a fight?

I punched my brother once...

3. Have you ever been in a dance fight?

We have those on a pretty much weekly basis at this campus, you silly.

4. How many girl/boyfriends have you had?

1/1

so 2

2 and a half if you count the made-up boyfriend I have to keep the creepers away

5. Are you tall or short?

Small like a delicate flower!

6. When was the last time you hit the gym?

Um...never?

7. What kind of music do you listen to?

Weeaboo bullshit

8. Are you single right now?

Imaginary boyfriend aside, yes

9. Did you enjoy gym class as a kid?

fuck no

10. Do you play/have you ever played any sports?

I play theater.

11. If you could have any animal in the world for a pet, what would it be?

A duck. A LITTLE WHITE DUCK.

12. Do you smoke?

fuck no

13. What would your superhero name be?

Duotastic

14. What would your porn name be?

Cinnamon Sugar

lmao no seriously there is a story behind this that is too hideous to tell

15. What would your son's name be?

Seth

16. What would your daughter's name be?

Jake

no, wait......

17. Are you a slob?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha yes

18. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?

K-Kahlua? I had it on tiramisu...

19. What kind of drunk are you/do you think you'd be?

A derpy one

20. If your life was a movie, which actor would you want to play you?

I'd fucking play myself

I AM an actor

fuck all of you

21. What makes you smile? (HINT: Acceptable answers- beef jerky, getting into fights, naked women, naked women getting into fights.)

well, I do like beef jerky and naked women...

I mean what

22. What pisses you off? (HINT: Acceptable answers- racism, getting rear-ended, the continued existence of Robert Pattinson.)

Stupid people

23. What makes you cry? (HINT: Acceptable answers- N/A.)

Every Pokemon movie, apparently

24. Who is your favorite fictional badass?

Toph

Motherfucking

Bei Fong

25. What is your favorite knife-fighting technique?

Cutting bread

26. If you could be transported back in time to any point in history, when would it be?

To when my mother asked if I wanted to go to private school

I would grab my younger self and shriek "FUCK YES YOU DO YOU LITTLE BITCH"

27. Do you have chest hair?

no

28. Lead, follow, or get out of the way?

Run everything over with a bulldozer

29. Do you think you'll ever get married?

oh god I hope not

then I'll have to pay attention to a person in addition to the ten billion cats I will have

30. Are you a good driver?

I don't know how to drive :|a INB4 OF COURSE YOU DON'T YOU'RE A WOMAN but no seriously I never learned

31. If you could sleep with any one celebrity, who would it be?

Cam Clarke's voice

32. Have you ever been in love?

I am in love with sour patch kids

33. What's the dumbest thing you've ever done?

this is a list you do not want me to start

because it will never ever ed

34. Possibly as a result of the above, what's the worst you've ever been hurt?

I ran into someone in gym class and got a concussion!

35. How many wild animals have you defeated in bare-handed combat within the last year?

every single one

I am queen of the wilds

36. You have been made Emperor of the Whole Goddamned World. What's the first thing you do?

put all the obnoxious politicians on a small ice floe in the Arctic waters and see how they fucking like it

polar bears are the shit, mang

37. What do you fear?

heights, water, and bridges

this is, as you can imagine, an exceptionally tragic combination

38. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

just my ears...

39. How long is your hair?

2.5 feet starting with my scalp, maybe...fuck if I know

40. If you could punch anyone in the world in the face without repercussions, who would it be?

Everyone ever

41. Who is your closest friend?

...Arlo...........my cat

42. What are your current goals, and what are you doing to achieve them?

my goal is to eat food before rehearsal and I am eating sour patch kids right now

43. What would you do if you found out you had three days left to live?

spend those days writing out sappy and depressing thank-you letters to everyone who ever helped me believe in myself

44. Have you ever been a lumberjack or a fireman?

I am a lumberjack who burns all of the wood he cuts down

fuck profits I just want to burn shit

45. A wizard has turned you into a whale. Is this awesome Y/N?

fuck yeah

46. What cartoons did you watch as a kid?

Pokemon, Digimon, Sailor Moon, other weeaboo shit

weeaboo is a fun word to type

weeaboo weeaboo weeaboo

47. What time do you wake up in the morning?

8:00 on MWF, 8:30 on TTh, whenever the fuck I want on the weekends

48. What card games do you know how to play?

Solitaire, Bullshit, Blackjack, Slapjack, Yu-Gi-Oh!

49. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?

oh fuck yes my body is ready

And last but not least:

50. How long is yours?


that's a secret!!!!! ~SO SCANDALOUS~
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